No, I don't mean letting someone else go first. In fact, I mean exactly the opposite, and in this post I've used a little gamer-behavior and a lot of spilling-my-heart-out to explain the importance of RULE NUMBER SEVENTEEN: YOU FIRST.
After much introspection and a lot of guidance, I've found that feelings and emotions don't always stem from anything anyone else has said or done, but the things that I say to myself. It's what I think about their words or actions that makes me react, and in turn makes an impact on the way I behave in similar situations. I do think we all are this way.
I'm not going to get into how to understand it or how the mind works - that's one journey we must take individually, because it's always beautiful to discover yourself as a person.
But my post is about this one thing we all must do - PUT YOURSELF FIRST.
It's not just about big, life changing situations. It's also about the smaller things - do you really want to go to that party? Are you too tired to be on the phone? Friend not letting you leave even though you're feeling unwell or just out of it? Sometimes we give in to make our family and friends smile. But sometimes we're hurting ourselves by not admitting what we really want/need/are not getting. I've found that it's not easy to tell others exactly how you feel and how strongly you feel it, but there's always somewhere to start!
1. Be honest with yourself - it is the key to keeping your mind at peace. Once you can share with yourself what you need and want, you will care for yourself and trust yourself more.
2. Trust yourself, and you will be honest with others because only you know what you need and only you can tell someone else so they understand. Honesty will allow others to trust you and care about you as well (they will know you can handle yourself), or at least show how they think and feel too. This is important so you can accept the way you are, the way someone else is and the fact that you may be very different from each other.
3. This acceptance and understanding will make the bonds in any relationship stronger, or show you that a person may not be the best companion for you. Most of all, it will strengthen the bond you share with yourself and then only happiness can follow.
It is a lifelong journey to be in touch with yourself, because things are always changing. It makes positivity a very important part of the process (and no, not the "Oh everything is fine and I'll just keep smiling and looking at unicorns and cats on the internet to fool myself and ignore my problems" kind of positivity) because we don't always enjoy change and ignoring it can make things worse with time. Change means not knowing what's next, and the mind doesn't enjoy the unknown very much no matter how equipped we are to deal with it.
Well, here's one way to understand and tap into a consistent kind of positivity - the kind that drives us to keep playing our favourite games!
It's pretty much like playing a new version of an old game series - you're not really super-pro at it first because you're used to a certan set of controls and they've changed a few things around. But that doesn't stop you. You keep playing till you learn the controls, beat the bosses, win online multiplayer challenges and then eventually move on to the next version, or even another game where the controls are completely different and zombies are attacking you while you're in the middle of war, instead of unlocking that Lambo after 5 egoistic guys in vests challenged you to the next race.
So yes, life is but a game, and we are merely its players... using our own consoles upon this massive network set to permanent multipayer mode with occasional boss battles and constant Level Ups till it's Game Over. Or something like that!
Now that I have written all this out, my mind wants to change the whole thing and explain this to you with a better, more "relevant" example that everyone will understand. But I trust myself, and I have been honest with you, so I will keep it this way and trust you to tell me what you think!
Hope you've had a good read. I've definitely had a good write!