Monday, June 08, 2009


Welcome to the beginning of 'Rules of the Universe'.
No, this is not a parallel to the Big Bang Theory and/or anything that followed it. This is (almost) everything I’ve ever learnt about life and/or in life so far. They’re just some simple rules and principles that apply to daily functioning of the life of an average, or not so average, individual.
You may say “Oh! But how much could she have learnt in life?! She’s just 18!” (and 5/6ths). I guarantee that by the time I’m in the groove with explaining most of these rules, I shall surprise you.

The rules are in no particular order, but I shall begin with #1 because it is about that heavenly being that has encouraged and procreated life on this planet and (I’m guessing) in the entire universe.


The person who, through his/her life, abided by this rule was probably the most sincere and diligent person the world ever saw. Well, at least according to his mom. The other people of the world (i.e. us) would prefer use other descriptive words for such an individual, e.g. “geek” or “dork” or “goody two-shoes”. We would also gladly and greedily raid his/her lunch box. Ah! Good times!

I think I speak for everyone when I say that all of us normal folk realized this the hard way… EVERY SINGLE TIME. Every day that passes, we are reminded of the fact that this is, without a hint of a doubt, RULE #1, even though we never really end up living by it. I’ve heard of women 3 times my age who still do not (or cannot) listen to their mothers. So what if it’s PMS?! So what if it’s menopause?! (both of which they will never admit) YOU’RE STILL SUPPOSED TO BLOODY LISTEN! Especially when they’re trying to teach you another rule: CHOCOLATE IS ALWAYS GOOD.

Normally when I write about such things I like to cite examples from my life, as most writers do, and I’m really not the kind to deviate from literary norms, so here’s one that just hit me: It is 4 30 a.m. and instead of listening to my mother, I’m running up the electricity bill and writing all of this. So there!

We refuse to believe it in that short span of time during which we’re carrying out the daft act, but every species in the entire universe survives because of this one rule! If bird didn’t listen to its mother, I doubt it would ever learn how to fly properly. Fathers aren’t too good at teaching and that’s another universal rule by itself. They know it too! That’s mostly why the lioness cares for the cubs 24x7 for 2 years, while Mr. I-have-some-killer-hair sleeps and hunts. If life exists in another solar system, I’m sure they’ve figured this out too.

I just realized that everything else I have to say you probably already know, so it’s pointless saying it and I think it would be better for my future if I turned off the computer now. In any case, the first week of July doesn’t look too good from here. I’m sure my mother would agree with me on that!